The treatment is complete, and now script writing begins.
I am expanding the treatment into Script form, meaning I am moving away from character description and plot emphasis and towards scenes, dialog, and action. I am feeling very positive and optimistic about the script. After talking to my production group and receiving some very helpful feedback I made some changes, for the better i believe and have an even better story than i first thought. Here is an excerpt…
INT. Mansion – Kitchen – oven – NIGHT
Dough is placed on a cookie sheet, the makings of a GLORIOUS and DELICIOUS COOKIE, dotted with milk chocolate chips. A hand grabs the metal tray and sets it to bake in the oven. As world renowned baker, HOSTESS prepares for a dinner party in her home. She readies herself for company while the smell of baked goods fills the house, leaving the lasting impression of hospitality in every corner.
EXT. Mansion – Night
A great mansion belonging to a world renowned baker lies in wait of guests to arrive, to fill its rooms with laughter and enjoyment. Four guests walk up the front steps not knowing what awaits them.
INT. mansion – kitchen – NIGHT
HOSTESS buzzes about the kitchen checking on the various dishes; as they BUBBLE, SIZZLE, and BOIL, cooking until she hears the RING of a door bell.
int. mansion – entrance way – Night
HOSTESS opens the door and guests: MAN WITH HAT, WOMAN WITH PEARLS, MAN WITH PIPE, and TIPSY WOMAN enter, all dressed to the nines; hand her their coats, scarves, handbags, and hats.
It’s great to see you again!
I’ll hang that right here.
Come on in.
int. mansion – living room – night
SERVANT an older man dressed in a fine tailored suit which resembles a penguin; shuffling about the room remains silent; holding a tray, carrying champagne flutes and h’orderves. Four guests:MAN WITH HAT, WOMAN WITH PEARLS, MAN WITH PIPE, and TIPSY WOMAN have arrived and mingle, as HOSTESS entertains.
WOMAN WITH PEARLS, have you met MAN WITH PIPE?
woman with pearls
(excitedly turning about)
I don’t believe I have.
WOMAN WITH PEARLS and MAN WITH PIPE shake hands, awkwardly.
man with pipe
Well, if you excuse me, I am going to go powder my nose.
HOSTESS turns in the direction of the bathroom and walks away.
INT. MANSION – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
All guests:MAN WITH HAT, WOMAN WITH PEARLS, MAN WITH PIPE, and TIPSY WOMAN and SERVANT mingle. The two men chat standing up, smoking while the woman loaf on the couch.
MAN WITH PIPE
So then I told them… Gee, you gotta sell. An offer like that, you can’t say no.
MAN WITH HAT
(sipping her champagne)
Is it ready yet, I’m about to perish.
HOSTESS walks back through the living room, returning to the kitchen.
INT. MANSION – KITCHEN – NIGHT
HOSTESS checks all of the pans cooking, SIZZLING and BUBBLING on the stove as well as checking the GLORIOUS and DELICIOUS COOKIE, dotted with milk chocolate chips.
INT. MANSION – KITCHEN – OVEN – NIGHT
HOSTESS checks on cookie in oven, she smiles and closes the oven door because GLORIOUS and DELICIOUS COOKIE, dotted with milk chocolate chips is decidedly not ready yet.
INT. MANSION – KITCHEN – NIGHT
HOSTESS returns to the kitchen, looking a little refreshed and opens the oven to check on her famous cookie. She expects to see a warm glorious cookie, perfecting sitting on its tray baking, but to her horror it is MISSING and now only crumbs remain. Her eyes widen and mouth hangs open, allowing for a chilling SCREAM to emerge.